Newbery主角们：故作反叛的正统偶像

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wrinkle

书评
《A Wrinkle in Time》By Madeleine L’Engle

读过几本Newbery，都不喜欢。里面的主角叛逆得很虚伪，很做作，不像自然的儿童，像是造出来的提线木偶，一举一动流露出幕后操纵的痕迹。

在儿童文学里，“反叛”是很常见的主题。但是Newbery主角和我小时候喜欢的叛逆小孩，长袜子皮皮，有很大的不同。长袜子皮皮力大无穷，无法无天，用蛮力把来管教她的成年人一个个都打趴下。相比起叛逆起来简直有点儿无法理喻的皮皮，Newbery主角就温顺得多了，后者的反抗总是很“稳重”，不会“出格”，他们儿童的外表下似乎有着成年人的心。对他们而言，反叛只是化妆，妆面下的他们依然是高度顺服于社会的，只不过他们顺服的往往不是书中的社会，而是读者和作者身处的这个现实社会。

Newbery主角的反叛方式总指向那个现实评价体系里的“正确”，甚至比“正确”更“正确”。比如《A Wrinkle in Time》里面的两个主角Charles和Meg，在作者的设定里，他们在学校被当成傻子，但其实智商非常高，只是不适应学校的评价系统。Charles有着远超五岁小孩的词汇量，Meg则擅长“巧算”数学题，——作者体现他们智商的方式，依然是让他们具有应试体系看重的”才能“，再硬把他们说成”异类“，比如说Meg的解法太巧了老师看不懂，所以她在学校被当成傻瓜。这个反叛设定实在牵强。作者想要设定一个不融于体系的”异类“，却写出了一个现有评价体系下的佼佼者，这说明作者根本就没想过现有体系的缺陷在哪里，也没有设定出冲破界限的反叛。

witchpond

如果说《A Wrinkle in Time》是个在智力上看似超出框架，实际强化框架的例子，那么《The Witch of Blackbird Pond》的主角Kat就是在道德上，看似超出框架，实际上顺应框架的例子。Kat成长在十七世纪的美洲殖民地，社区里清教徒占多数，Kat周围的人普遍歧视Quaker，然而Kat却一眼看出了这种偏见的荒谬之处，主动去和被众人孤立的Quaker老太太成为朋友。

那么，她是如何获得了这个超越时代的道德智慧的呢？作者完全没有解释。NewBery主角总能这样正确地格格不入，他们似乎天生就知道自己生活的时代里什么观念是错误的，什么信仰是荒谬的，怎么做才是在遵守“真正”的正义，这”真正“将由未来的某一代人来定义——也就是读者这一代人来定义。这些人物的脑子里似乎有一条秘密信道连通着读者所在的世界，作者通过这条信道输送给他们现实社会里”正确“的观念，命令他们以此行动。一方面，虚拟人物超前正确的三观让读者难以相信这些人是虚构世界的土著，一方面他们总能按照”正确“的正义行动，反而给人一种虚伪、飘浮的感觉。

Newbery主角看似超出框架，实则无时不在框架之中，甚至比普通人把框架的准则推行的更远。他们做出反叛的姿态，但他们反叛的方式、反叛的结果，正是框架极力推崇、喜闻乐见的，可以说他们是叛逆了个寂寞。

拒绝遵守制度的人会付出相应的代价。叛出体系的人会失去体系带来的利益，还可能遭受体系对反叛者的打压、报复和惩罚。正因为反叛一定会付出代价，反叛主题经常会和自我牺牲、侠义精神联系起来。反叛者通过反叛想要得到了什么，又付出了什么样的代价，这对理解反叛的意义至关重要。

Newbery主角看似有着侠义精神，Meg为了找到丢失的爹，冒着危险进行时间旅行；Kat为了保护Quaker老妇人，宁可被全镇当成怪胎。但是细想一下，就会发现，这些侠义儿童要保护的，总是成年人，按理来说，权力、力量都高于他们的成年人。把儿童保护成年人，说成是值得赞扬的“侠义”，背后的鸡贼之心昭然若揭。不论如何美化，让儿童去守卫成人的“义举”也不能打动我，只让我觉得厌烦。成年人的问题请自己解决，不要拖小孩下水，让小孩解决成人的问题不能体现小孩的“仁义”，只能体现成人的卑劣。

能触动我的，让我觉得有意义的反叛，是儿童去发扬天性，做力所能及的事，一步步拓宽自己的世界。让儿童保护成年人来体现儿童侠义，说实在的很恶心，也悖逆自然天理；让儿童展现小动物的保护欲来体现儿童的侠义心，读着就很舒服，感觉很自然。

midnightswan

《The Midnight Swan》有个情节很触动我，就在于它少有地表现出了儿童对小动物的侠义心。Tylwyth Teg（威尔士妖精）偷了午夜天鹅的蛋，午夜天鹅说要她解除她下在发条乌鸦身上的咒语，就必须用被偷走的蛋来交换。主角Seren想要救她的朋友发条乌鸦，克服重重困难，只身来到森林深处，对Tylwyth Teg说，你不是想要小孩子吗？给我蛋，作为交换我可以跟你走。

做出牺牲自己、拯救朋友的承诺对于成年人来讲，需要很多的铺垫和解释，但对于儿童来讲，就有种自然而然的感觉。Seren知道被妖精带走就再也回不到现实世界了，但比起对现实世界的留恋，她把朋友的幸福看得更加重要。

天然儿童就是这样，不觉得人比其它生灵更高贵。儿童往往会冒着生命危险，去救一只鸟、一只猫，但是对人的生命，包括自己的生命反而没那么看重，比如我小学的时候，有个同学爬到很高的树上去救猫，完全没想过要害怕从那么高的地方摔下来的危险。我自己小时候，在报纸、电视看到残害野生动物、破坏雨林植被的新闻都气得吃不下饭，恨不得把罪犯五马分尸，我觉得伤害动物、伤害树木的人就是该以死抵罪，甚至死不足惜，他们即使死了，也只赔了一条命，而被他们伤害的大象、老虎、藏羚羊再也回不来了。

Newbery主角像个假小孩，这类小孩的特点是他们最看重与人的关系，特别是与成年人的关系，同时完全无视和其它有灵生物的关系。成年人写儿童文学，最喜欢YY的一个情节，就是让虚构小孩把与成年人的关系放在高于一切的位置上。女人写儿童探险就安排小孩救妈，男人写儿童探险就安排小孩找爹，让孩子救妈找爹完全是成年女男在自恋地代入巨婴家长角色。比起救妈找爹，救狗找猫更符合小孩的天性。妈爹请自己救自己，放过小孩吧，小孩也是，你的精力，用来和小狗小猫小兔大树一起玩儿不好吗？别再浪费在找爹救妈上了。

扮演“洛丽塔”

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44890081. sy475

书评
《My Dark Vanessa》by Kate Elizabeth Russell

作者说她十六七岁时就开始筹划写这本书了，书里Vanessa在高中时的经历、想法都用的是那个时候积累下的素材。高中Vanessa的烦恼给人感觉太真实了：青少年时期，和最好的朋友闹翻就是天大的事，那个时候还定不清自我的边界，朋友就是自己的一部分，朋友要离开就像生生地把自己剖筋挖骨一样；那个时期对成人世界的感观充满了矛盾，既有向往，又有不屑，对自己的认知也混乱矛盾，一方面鄙视、厌倦成年人制定的规则，觉得他们的规矩毫无意义、荒谬可笑，但又感到无力去改变、对抗这些规则。这些矛盾的情感作者都非常忠实地表现出来了，我个人觉得这其实极难做到的，青少年时期的想法太纷杂、太混乱、太狂放，过了那个时期往往这些混乱的状态都会如云烟般从记忆里消散了，如果不是作者在自己还是个高中生时就把这些情绪记录下来，十年之后再写作时几乎不可能这么忠实地复现一个青少年的心理状态。

但也因为这样，少年Vanessa和成年Vanessa叙事交替时会有些不协调感。从一个虽然暗有创伤，但大多数时候能管理情绪的成年人，跳到每天脑子里充斥着一万个怪想法的心绪大起大落的高中生，作为一个和成年Vanessa年龄接近的读者，我很容易共情成年Vanessa的想法，而少年Vanessa会给我一种过于幼稚、幼稚到不合逻辑的格格不入感。我必须要努力地回忆自己十几岁时的状态，那个动不动”发疯“的自己，那个现在回忆起来充满了距离感，甚至更像在看他人电影的自己，一边对比这些脑子里的”旧电影“，一边才能勉强接受这种状态对于青少年是真实的。即使这样，从情感上来说，还是有种隔膜感。——我觉得这种隔膜感也是成年Vanessa难以接受，在变化了的道德语境下，重新叙述她少年经历的原因之一，因为想要客观地回忆起少年时代究竟发生了什么，实在是太难了。我觉得这种回忆上的困难性很可能和大脑发育的机制有关。

我们的社会在过去十年间，对成年男性和未成年女性的恋爱叙述，经历了从完全的”亨伯特“视角，到部分地引入”多罗莉丝“的声音和她的视角的这样一个变化。对此的道德判断，也不再是过去的看似”中立“，其实是”共情“施害者，——而是明确这个关系是恋童癖利用权力不对等进行的性剥削行为，”亨伯特“是一个故意伤害他人的罪犯，”多罗莉丝“则是本质的受害者。她可能对亨伯特的性侵行为有回应，甚至有些小动作看起来有些挑逗，但这些并不能改变她和亨伯特的关系本质。这段性关系的本质就是她在被恋童癖亨伯特性剥削。恋童癖用”爱情“神话来美化自己的行为，但是他们淫荡无耻、看到儿童就会出手勾引，跟倡导”专一“的”爱情“没有半毛钱关系。剥掉文学美化外衣后的赤裸裸的现实：——恋童癖面对成年女性就是个阳痿男。书里面，三十岁Vanessa试图再次和老师做爱，来回忆他们“过去”那种在她记忆里浪漫的感觉，但是老师完全硬不起来，因为”我对他而言太老了“。

少年Vanessa笨拙地模仿“诱惑的少女“，因为她以为“洛丽塔”有真正的权力。她模仿着少女明星在大众媒体里被塑造出来的样子。Britney Spears穿着露腰裙，表情叛逆，一边跳着暗示性的舞蹈，一边唱着”Baby baby one more time“。 Fiona Apple穿着白色小背心，透出瘦骨嶙峋的肩膀，她撩起裙子，露出同样青春期抽条时特有的骨节鲜明的腿。她躺在浴缸里，明显属于成年男人的、深色皮肤的、充满暴力感的脚踩在她脸侧，但是她却在唱

I’ve been a bad, bad girl

I’ve been careless with a delicate man

And it’s a sad, sad world

When a girl will break a boy

Just because she can

别人把脚踩在你脸边上，明显是个充满侮辱性的动作，但是女主人公摆出无所谓的表情，继续唱”When a girl will break a boy，Just because she can“，一副相信自己凭借”魅力“把男人玩弄于鼓掌中的样子，这明显属于认知失调。心怀鬼胎的人们跟着吹捧洛丽塔的魔力，”哦，她轻蔑一笑，男人都为之疯狂“。但也不见这些“为她疯狂的”男人把钱和房子都给她，也不见这些“为她疯狂的”男人为她洗衣做饭、忙前忙后。说白了，引发男人的强奸你的欲望算什么权力，”洛丽塔“根本没有任何权力，男人可以不负任何代价地把脚踩在她脸上侮辱她。

fiona apple criminal - video Dailymotion

少年Vanessa在表演她从小说、电影里学来的“爱情”。她把自己脑子里对爱情的想象投射在一个无耻的恋童癖身上，硬是把老师因为怕被人检举，偷偷摸摸做出的猥亵行为，想象成了”想触碰又收回手”的高尚爱情。老师称赞她的头发颜色像枫叶，老师摸了她的腿，她就觉得老师深深地爱上了她，她开始想象老师对自己“爱得小心翼翼”，想象自己是那个魔女般的洛丽塔，看似无害但实际有着引人毁灭的力量，然后又对老师产生了一种呵护的冲动，”老师不由自主地爱上一个学生，他内心该多么害怕啊”，“我应该（像个成年人一样）勇敢地承担起在这段关系里的责任”。来自于一个成年人的示爱，也激发起了她的虚荣心，她觉得这比被同龄男生追求更能证明自己的魅力。她以为自己有特别之处，才被成年男子爱上。到了后面，她才发现老师对高中生的她产生性欲，不是因为她魅力超群，而是因为老师是恋童癖。老师对她也没有什么”专一“的”爱情“，他性侵、诱奸过不止一个学生。

“Pathetically in love with you.” As soon as he says this, I become someone somebody else is in love with, and not just some dumb boy my own age but a man who has already lived an entire life, who has done and seen so much and still thinks I’m worthy of his love. I feel forced over a threshold, thrust out of my ordinary life into a place where it’s possible for grown men to be so pathetically in love with me they fall at my feet.

我发现这类老丑男勾引少女的故事里面，诱奸犯大都是语文老师，房思琪、《My Dark Vanessa》, 还有《Being Lolita》——我觉得一方面可能是因为语文老师比较擅长花言巧语吧，擅长child grooming，还有这和语文这门学科的特殊性也有些关系。语文呢，是个专注于做梦的学科，对于小女孩来讲，梦想在她的生活里是多么重要啊，与此相对的，这个社会给小女孩设定的“梦想”是多么狭隘无聊啊。Andrea Dworkin在自传里面回忆她遇到过的恋童癖老师，“他们厌女，他们是恋童癖”，但是“在这个大多数成年人大多数时候都对孩子撒谎的社会里，这个恋童癖老师看起来就像唯一一个诚实的，敢于说出世界的真相的人。就像撒旦用知识果引诱夏娃一样。”

在夏娃”堕落“之前，”正义“的上帝做了什么呢？他为了方便“管理”人类，禁止人类求知，只想让人类生活于蒙昧之中，但人就是有向往知识的、好奇的天性啊。男权社会打压少女的求知欲，打压她们探索世界的野心，但少女直觉性地感到这一切”安排“都不合理，都在违逆她的天性。Vanessa面对她妈提供的”恋爱咨询“，在内心反驳，”为什么女孩子就要永远等待（男孩子来爱她）?“。少女的不服气、不服输的心，被恋童癖利用，成为了引诱她、要挟她的筹码。

In my case I was Little Eva, and a snake offered knowledge and the promise of escape from the constriction of a dead world in which there were no poets or geniuses or visionaries. All the girls, after all, were expected to teach, nurse, do hair, or clean houses, or combinations as if from a Chinese menu. Because most adults lie to children most of the time, the pedophilic adult seems to be a truth-teller, the one adult ready and willing to know the world and not to lie about it. Lordy, lordy, I do still love that piece of shit. (from “Heartbreak: The Political Memoir of a Feminist Militant”)

这类作品里还有个常出现的桥段：受害者明明身体上很抵触老师，会嫌老师的肉体恶心，但是又拼命压抑自己去迎合老师，在压抑自己的过程中体会一种自虐式的快感。我觉得受害者压抑自己对老丑男的肉体的厌恶的情节也对应着受害者黑暗人格毁灭自我的共谋，她体内那个暴虐的部分，本来是应该用来保护心灵里脆弱的部分，比如在被老JB冒犯到的时候奋起剁掉老JB，但是却在男权社会的洗脑下，和老JB合谋去压制、去侵犯那个天真脆弱的人格，在毁灭另一个人格的过程中获得一种战胜自己的快感，然而这种战胜自己并非是成长式的，而是摧毁式的，会导致人格的解离。她躺在床上，感到自己“灵魂出窍”，正是PTSD的解离症状。

这里面还有一段“强制性异性恋”的故事。一开始，她为最好的朋友Jenny亲近男友Tom，忽视了她而歇斯底里，她跟Jenny大吵，Jenny暗示她有同性恋倾向，被指出这点，她大为恐惧。她轻易地滑向Strane，也有一部分是为了向外界、向自己，证明自己不是同性恋。这一段真令我心碎。

But it killed me that Jenny deemed it something worth repeating: “too attached.” The implication of what being too attached to another girl might mean made my hair stand on end.

大学时第一次读《Lolita》，也是唯一一次，把我恶心坏了——同样恶心到我的还有《霍乱时期的爱情》——其实回想起来应该太多了，以至于我觉得所谓的名著之所以成为名著，不是despite misogyny，而是because of misogyny。纳博科夫在《Lolita》结语里把亨伯特痛骂了一顿，说自己从亨伯特的角度来写，是要忠实地表现恋童癖是怎么美化自己的犯罪行为的，亨伯特这个人物内心本质就是虚伪无耻，没有为他辩解的意思——但是他给自己找补的这些从小说里完全看不出来就是了。我觉得《My Dark Vanessa》的格局比《Lolita》高得多，因为这本书着重讨论了性化少女的社会文化对少女自我认知的扭曲，是如何便利性侵犯罪的。少年Vanessa看似是被Strane这一个人诱奸了，其实是被整个社会的恋童文化围猎了，而且因为Vanessa本人就成长在这种恋童文化里，吸收了种种毒素，导致她自己都参与了对自己的绞杀。

成年男人利用自己的权威诱奸少女的这一类犯罪，具有整个社会参与的复杂性，而受害者本身也是男权社会的产物，受到有毒文化的浸染，让她往往显得不那么像一个完美受害者。她做出性感的姿势、挑逗的表情，去表演一个她从杂志里、电视上学来的诱惑的“洛丽塔”，同时，又不由自主地为此感到屈辱，因为这种表演，不论怎么样被男权社会美化，对表演者本身而言就是屈辱的。受害者的一部分和加害者共谋，一起迫害她自己，这是事实，没有必要为了维持受害者的“纯洁形象”，去否认这种共谋。这只能说明她不止受害于加害者，还受害于把性化少女、意淫少女当做正常的男权社会洗脑。事实上，如果我们想要阻止更多的少女受害，就必须先认清了这种共谋和它的成因链条，而不是否认它的存在。认清了成因，才能切断链条，彻底根除滋生它的土壤。

A Great Gardner’s Book As Always

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35106781

The Book Review of 
“Look For Me” by Lisa Gardner

I always learn something from reading Gardner’s books. It is apparent from her works that she conducts a great deal of research in forensic science and legal procedures, filters through a large amount of informative details and weaves the most interesting parts into her plot lines. I was initially drawn to her books by her characterization of strong, determined and resourceful female leads. As my reading journey continued, I found her books also opened a gateway of knowledge into a line of work I barely knew in real life. She introduced me to the life of a child psych ward nurse, a 911 dispatcher, a police trooper and even a female prisoner. The last, I know, is not a profession, but no less interesting to read about.

There are two recurring themes in Gardner’s writing: troubled childhood and trauma recovery.

Gardner on Child Welfare

In her D.D. Warren series, Gardner directs a spotlight at troubled children, calling attention to this particularly vulnerable group. This book “Look for Me” tells a story of foster kids, and severals other books in the same series also revolve around children born with or into difficult situations, such as children with physical disabilities (“Fear Nothing”), children with mental illnesses (“Live To Tell”), children of narcissistic parents (“Never Tell”) and children sexually abused by pedophilic predators (“Catch Me”).

Gardner’s thrillers are not only exciting reads, but also offer a kaleidoscopic view into various public facilities and services. The crime plots may be fictitious, but the story setting is built on solid research. Schools, hospitals, law enforcement, government agencies, social volunteer groups —— there seems to be no corner of the society that Gardner’s antenna have not reached, investigated and reported.

Reading her books, you can see the tremendous efforts put forth by all the honorable people in our society to protect the younger generation from perils, to nurture deprived children with public resources, to reconnect challenged children, and sometimes their desperate parents, into a social support network. But at the same time, you also see the devil of human nature rearing its ugly head in the depravity of abusive parents, pedophilic criminals and callous bystanders.

All adults were once children. When children grow up, they gain power. Some of them wield this power to protect and guard the younger generation, whereas some pour their anger and frustration onto the defenseless young, and some exploit the curiosity and dependency of children to act out their depraved fantasies. Generations after generations, the war between child protectors and child abusers goes on and children’s welfare depends on the adults on their side winning the war.

A central character of this book is a high school teenage girl who spent several years in foster care, and as the story unfolds, it touches on various aspects and working stages of the US foster care system. Foster kids usually have problematic biological parents, whose custodial rights are terminated by the state on the account of negligence or abuse. Only after the biological parents prove in court that they are mentally, physically and financially stable enough to provide responsible child care, could they win back the custody of their kids. Before that, the children would be placed in foster homes for the sake of their safety and welfare.

However, when put into practice, these laws and policies to protect children may not live up to same ideal by which they were drafted. If the foster home lacks monitoring and supervision, these children, already under distress, become even more susceptible to exploitation and abuse. During the challenging times of parent-child separation, if the foster home fails to provide solace and support, some of children would break down or go astray. Feeling undeserved and unloved, they use drugs, alcohol, unprotected sex to sabotage their physical and mental well-being. Feeling lost in a hostile, estranged world, they join criminal activities to find a sense of community and belonging.

Gardner on Feminism

Another thing I always like about Gardner’s books is how she features strong female characters. In this book, Flora Dane, an abduction survivor (first introduced in “Find Her ”), trains herself to be a vigilante and organizes a support group to offer consultation for other victims. Sara, another survivor from a killing spree, joins Flora’s support group and uses her computer knowledge to help locate a missing girl.

It’s really refreshing to read stories of how female survivors of rape, kidnap and violence regain the control of their life and start to feel strong and powerful again. The survivors study self-defense skills from lock-picking to chemical burning, take on training courses in shooting, kick-boxing and running, bond with other determined survivors, and together form a formidable combat force to destroy the bad guys.

I always like the stories of victims turning into revengers. In a world where all women face constant threats of male violence, these stories tell women that they are not passive and powerless. The stories say that for those who are disgraced, tortured and brutalized, there is a way out of victimhood, and it is not by waiting, begging and praying. Her inner peace is not gifted to her by an omnipotent God, neither does it come back to her spontaneously as time goes by. To reclaim her control of life, she has to believe in her own strength and shrewdness. She has to plan, prepare, strategize, and take revenge on the offenders, rapists and kidnappers. She has to rack her brain to outsmart those who wronged her and hold on to a determination to fight till winning.

Is This Harassing, Flirting or Joking?

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Thoughts on
“天久鷹央の事件カルテ”, by 知念実希人

破案情节一如既往地有趣，但是里面用职场性骚扰的桥段来搞笑，实在让人受不了。作者以为把骚扰者设定成女，被骚扰者设定成男，就可以消解性骚扰的恶劣性了，其实完全不是这样。不论谁骚扰谁，如果允许毫无顾忌地骚扰别人这种行为存在，整个工作场所的气氛都会变得特别有毒。

之所以女骚扰男能被玩笑化，是由于存在着一种社会观念，认为男性被女性“骚扰”其实是占了便宜，于是骚扰方占了口舌便宜，被骚扰方占了“性”的便宜，谁都没有吃亏。但是职场上女骚扰男的性质和男骚扰女一样恶劣，一样会毒害工作环境。

以开玩笑打掩护侵犯他人边界的行为一但成为常态，会让所有员工内心都感到不安。每个人表面上在别人被侵犯时附和着一起笑，但内心也时刻担忧着自己被侵犯，这样导致的猜疑和恐惧本身就会割裂团队。而且，幻想实际中几乎不存在的，女上司骚扰男下属、女同事骚扰男同事的情节，把性骚扰的行为正常化，扩大化，最后只会侵犯到本就最容易被性骚扰伤害的群体，也就是底层女性员工。

我刚入职时，不懂得工作场合说话做事的边界，也说过类似于“骚扰”的话，后来接受了公司的防止性骚扰课程培训，才意识到自己过去的言行不当，以后也变得注意起来了。规范自己的言行，创造一个清朗的工作环境，最终获益的还是自己。

The crime-solving plot is interesting as always, but it is disturbing to read the author’s frivolous treatment of workplace sexual harassment. Sexual harassment at workplace is a serious issue that should not be taken lightly. It not only violates people’s physical and emotional boundaries and tramples upon the dignity of co-workers, but also poisons the social atmosphere at the workplace and destroys team spirit.

The reason that the author deems it a moral obligation to condemn male-to-female sexual harassment (as he did in the other books of this series and I appreciate that), while finding female-to-male sexual harassment funny enough to joke about, is that he, as many people do, has this intuitive feel that the former is unfair, unjust, an absolute abuse of power by people in advantageous positions, while the latter is much less so. Less so, because in the latter case, the inequality of power in employment, is counter-balanced by the inequality of power by gender.

The gender relationship as we understand it, and our understanding mostly reflects reality, is that any sexual or sexually-alluding interaction between women and men would create an imbalance of power that puts men in dominant positions and women in subordinate positions. This idea leads to another belief that when a man is sexually harassed by a woman, the victim is not a true victim. Although the encroachment on his boundaries makes him feel uncomfortable, he gains from the contact initiated by the harasser, since men could always benefit from sexual contact or contact that suggests the prospect of sex, with women.

The author hints towards a belief in his book that by making the target of harassment a male, workplace sexual harassment can be perceived as less toxic and less harmful, but in fact it is not like that at all. Firstly, every individual has the need to preserve their boundaries and have their feelings recognized and respected. When workplace sexual harassment becomes the norm, it would upset all employees. Although most of them would feel pressured to comply, even trying to force out a laugh at the scene of another co-worker being harassed, deep inside everyone watching harassers go free would inevitably feel the anxiety of being targeted next. This feeling of insecurity and distrust will create fissures in the team and impair the morale and productivity of employees. Secondly, the fantasy of female bosses harassing male subordinates, female colleagues harassing male peers, which almost never exists in reality, while attempting to paint female-to-male sexual harassment as a case of flirting, and thereby justifies normalization, will have the ripple effect of normalizing all cases of sexual harassment. And we all know the victims of real-world sexual harassment are predominantly low-level female workers.

When I started my first job, I tried to leave a good impression on my co-workers and did not quite understand there is a fine line between showing care and respecting boundaries. I committed a number of micro-aggressions without realizing my mistakes. It was only after several company training courses on anti sexual harassment that it was called to my awareness all my micro-aggressions in workplace that would feel improper and unprofessional to other co-workers. Like once I commented on the look of one co-worker in front of several people. Even though that was a praise, I still regretted that as an unprofessional mistake since that comment could be easily misunderstood and mis-received. Now I pay particular attention to make sure I communicate professionally with my colleagues and that has led me to trust my co-workers more, not less. Contributing to a harassment-free working environment eventually benefits myself.

An Honest and Heartbreaking Memoir

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the_kissA Book Review of
The Kiss, by Kathryn Harrison

I’m surprised to see the precision and coolness with which the author recounts her childhood trauma. Usually people do not remember traumatic experiences as clearly as they do good ones, since first, trauma does not make sense and thereby defies logical memory, and second, the brain shuts down when hurt too badly as a form of self-protection. In the archive of subconsciousness traumatic memories are scattered all over the place, in bits and pieces, and when they are recalled into consciousness they are often shrouded in a dreamy fog.

Not in the case of this book.

The author has a style that is literary, but not literary in a distant, unapproachable way, but intimate and human. Her words carry a poetic rhythm, but the picture they draw is never bleary nor drifting. Her language is precise, with the certainty and calmness a surgical knife could use to slice open a festering wound. Her voice is honest and sincere. The words weigh down on readers’ mind with tangible horror.

My appreciation of the style left aside, the book also discusses a very important topic. It tells a child abuse story from the victim’s perspective, and demonstrates how much lasting damage parental abuse can do to a trusting, loving child. The author’s abusive mother uses the unconditional trust of her child to encroach on the child’s mental and bodily boundaries, forces her to ignore her own feelings, to submit and comply. Her mother manipulates her through insults, physical violence and deliberate neglect. The abuse suffocates and poisons a child’s mind. Suffocated, the child turns to self-destructive thoughts and behavior. Poisoned, the child is led to believe the abuse was done because of love. Horror, weariness and humiliation are what love ought to feel like.

Such a child then becomes an easy prey for sexual predators, like an immunosuppressed host for hungry parasites. In this case the author falls into the trap of her perverted biological father, but her falling starts way before the re-union with her estranged father. It starts when she watches her sleeping mom in craving, when she is forced to learn subjects in a way more of torture than education, when she is not able to slap away the hand that shoves a diaphragm into her vagina, during a medical check authorized by her mother. She has been violated, again and again, by her mother, long before her father takes advantage of her wounded state.

The mother is always the first one to cut a hole into a girl’s heart. Easily done when she is too young and too inexperienced to put up any defense, when her body is small, her knowledge is scarce and her strength is undeveloped, when she has no choice but to give out all her trust to people she has no choice but to depend on. Once a hole is left open, anyone with a malicious intent can insert a straw into her heart and party on her blood for food and pleasure.

Gap Between Fiction and Reality of Authoritarian Regimes

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A Book Review of
“The Bone Shard Daughter”, by Andrea Stewart

The story is not without potential, but can use some good editing. In several places where tension needs to be built, the author digresses into too many irrelevant, distracting details. For example, when Lin goes to the locksmith Numeen for the second time, she is in deep fear of being found out by her father and that should be what occupies her thought. That is not a time for her attention to wander to the activities of street vendors. In other places where opportunities are posed for richer plots and characterization, the author just brushes them off. Why is the governor’s heir Phalue so quick to accept her lover Ranami’s involvement in the “Shardless” and agree to watch the subversive activity to overthrow her father? Because Ranami shows her some poor people’s food and housing? Were it in human nature that a wealth gap could so easily vex the rich, any wealth gap would have stopped existing a long time ago.

The story is set in an authoritarian regime where people are forced to surrender their bone shards to the empire, which are necessary to power the magical constructs to guard and rule, but the magic would also drain the donors’ life and cause premature deaths. The regime coerces and coaxes its people into submission. Soldiers and spy constructs watch them and keep them in line, and the empire promulgates the belief that shard donation is essential to protect the people from the external hostile force Alanga.

Despite the fictional setting of an authoritarian regime, it seems to me the author lacks experience or knowledge of what life under an authoritarian regime truly is like, and makes no attempt to mirror the history or the reality of authoritarianism in her plot devising. Generally, two types of things feel very out of context in the storyline: how authoritarian leaders treat plebeians and how plebeians think of themselves under such regimes.

The interaction between aristocrats and commoners is described in a way overly egalitarian. Lin makes a promise to Numeen that would risk her life and feels guilty for not keeping it. The governor’s heir Phalue jumps instantly at the opportunity to join subversive activities. The plot gives me an impression that the aristocrats do not feel entitled to their status and are eager to get rid of any unearned privileges. It is hard to believe any person in power will be so ready to give up power, just to feel “good”. The mindset has many similarities with the shout-outs of college SJWs —— “check your privilege! ”, and seems implausible to be held by real-life political figures. It is not only idealistic but also contemporary, and does not fit in the story background.

The author depicts a life in fear of the people under authoritarian regimes, when in fact it is only the people not living under such regimes who would observe from the outside with fear. The people who actually live in the regime would just have to live with it. As people learn to adapt, they tune out fear. They normalize and rationalize their state of living, no matter how oppressive and suffocating it is, and they stop thinking about their oppression entirely, as a form of self-preservation. In a real authoritarian regime, to feel fear means there is a risk of showing the fear, which means showing dissatisfaction and resentment, and that will warrant severe punishment by the regime. When the emperor’s daughter Lin reveals her identity inadvertently at the dinner with the Numeen’s, the author says the family shows fear and Lin leaves in guilt and shame, while in a real-life context, most commoners’ family under such situations would only show and feel a deep sense of gratitude to the regime and believe it is a rare honor to treat a member of royalty.

The beginning of the book raised much of my hope, but further into reading, I could not help being upset by the inadequate execution. It’s OK to have abnormalities in a story. But they require justification. Justifications of abnormalities give the characters depth and complexity. Sadly, the characters in this book are all behaving out of the norm, without the author giving any proper justification from their experience, backgrounds and internal struggles. It disappoints me more especially because the story is full of creative ideas and has the potential to be great. For a debut novel the author may not be aware of all the holes in her writing but a good editor should step in and offer proper advice.

读“和风小说”随感

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 书评
《RDG レッドデータガール》，作者荻原規子

近两年读过的和风小说，包括这一本，还有之前读过的《京都寺町三条のホームズ》、《つくもがみ貸します》、《霧のむこうのふしぎな町》，都是日亚上评价超高，但是我特别无感，甚至厌烦的。这几本书的叙事风格也有些相似之处，推荐语里也常常提到它们的“和风”特色。我在想这些“和风”明显的日本小说一直触动不了我，是不是因为我把期待放错了？我总试图在日语里面找英语或者中文的典型风格，然后又抱怨它没有，就像抱怨为什么粤菜不够辣一样。我喜欢的几个日本作家，不是因为他们的日本风格，而是因为他们不够日本。比如齐藤洋，写小说的时候也逻辑致密，上下句总有着逻辑清晰的链接，他本人是学德语文学出身的；另一个我喜欢的作家貴志祐介，常用简洁明快的短句，短句多得不像日本小说，倒有种中文的利落感。审美如同照镜，人看的并非原景原物，而是镜中之景。可能欣赏和风美需要照一面不同的镜子，也就是说，用一种既不同于中式、也不同于西式的审美体系对照着它来看，才能发现它的美来。

先说我对中式和西式（英美）文学语言的理解吧。中文要声音清脆铿锵，如珠玉落盘，一断一空，留未尽之言，表无尽之意。罗素有篇文章讲如何写作，其中一条建议是，句子前后逻辑要一致，不能让前半段暗示一件事，然后后半段又否认这一件事。在我看来，这条建议其实不适用于中文审美，如果以中文为标准，读者看了前一句就能猜出后一句要说什么，那说明后一句多余，应该删掉。英文追求细致绵密，适合说理，中文则是一部分意思在言说里，还有一部分意思在不言中。英文事无巨细都要言明，翻译成中文常读着赘余啰嗦，中文处处留白，翻译成英文后往往显得前言不搭后语。

把文学美推广到普遍的艺术审美，也能看出类似的地方。中式审美要求的留空，如同山水留白、琵琶声停，是要一把将读者推出物质世界，在无尽虚空中自由坠落，同时，这个坠落只持续一眨眼的时间，下一瞬读者又被从虚空拉回现世，中式美学就在从有到无，从无到有的反复急变之间。这样的“有”态和“无”态之间的交错，实现了以“有“为中心的无限延展，会让“有”的这一部分特别地凸显，同时，对“无”的体验也会自然地导向无条件的谦卑，因为人在“无”中会意识到自己的思维之有限，远远不能填满虚空。

与中式审美不同，西式审美要精细致密，上下延连，所以不但“无”处要填上“有”，而且处处要合乎逻辑，又要求从已知中推见前人所未见，言说前人所未言，一步步引导读者，推演出新知的同时，它对完美论述的追求也会自然地召唤来不停歇的辩论。在关于如何完善人的创造的事情上，西式哲学要实用得多。但是论及情绪上的传递出来的玄妙感，一旦表达出来就被定型了的”有“，当然永远也不可能超过能够无限延展的“无”。

和风虽说受汉风很大影响，乍看之下也有些相似，但是稍微接触多一点，即使说不出哪里有差，也能感觉出“中式”与“和式“存在着显著区别。比如家装风格，虽然都是原木色，但“中式”以深色基调为主，桌椅都是细杆搭在一起，一看就鹤骨仙风，高冷得很，“和式”就给人感觉比较温暖，全屋都会铺浅色的榻榻米，透光的障子把整间屋子柔柔地包裹了一层。延伸到文学上也有点儿类似，当然我只读过几十本日语原著，肯定不能说多了解日语，只能说说对这门语言粗浅的印象：日本并不追求中国的“无”，但也不追求西式那种可见的“有”，而是要营造一种不可见的“有”，如同风过竹林，沙沙作响，目力虽不可见，但风把世间所有物事都包裹其中。而且，和风艺术的目的在“乘风”而不是“御风”，它不试图改变风向，而是随八面天风而起，游行自在，把自身交托到无处不在、流动不息的风流之中。夏日凉风习习，拂过头发，拂过脸颊，这一刻的风好像是从侧面扫来，下一阵的风又好像是迎面吹来，过一会儿远处又飘来烤鸡的香气。说不上风从哪个方向吹来，也没法预测它下一步的行动，只能感受到它无处不在，在宇宙间任意穿行，把心放在风里，心随风而动，文字从心里流淌出来，也乘着风自由流动，可能这就是和风美吧。

以上对”和风“的想法最近才产生，还很初步，需要更多的阅读来验证和细化。如果不是日语水平太拉跨，我是很想读读古典日语作品的，我觉得古典作品中的“和风”会更纯粹吧，也能更好地验证我的想法，但是受限于目前的阅读理解水平，只能从当代作品开始一步一步来了。

The Wild Rusalka and the City Priest

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bear_and_nightingaleA Book Review of
“The Bear and the Nightingale“, by Kathrine Arden

In the form of a medieval Russian folklore, the book tells a story about the clash between Christianity from Moscow and idolatry in the woods of northern Russia. Moscow is civilized, political, sublime, and publicly right; the forest of Lesnaya Zemlya is untamed, earthly, natural, and privately wrong.

One place that exemplifies this theme of antagonism is the murderous dynamics between the rusalka (water sprite), a magical creature living in the lake, sustained on the meat of her killing, and the priest Konstantin, who is exiled to the woods from Moscow because his rising influence among the locals has threatened the crown. The rusalka sees through the priest’s masquerading of piety and stoicism, and drools over his power-thirsty soul hidden underneath. For a rusalka, the flesh of men full of desire and fear provides the best nourishment. Without any knowledge of being targeted as a prey, the priest dreams about expanding his fame and glory in front of the village people, by exorcising demons and specters bred by the wild land. Despite their different interests and motivations, death is the wish they make upon each other.

Although animosity is felt by both parties, fear is incurred on only one side. Father Konstantin is scared of the wild, but the wild creatures are not deterred by him and his preach, even after they foresee the disastrous consequences his action is going to bring to the village. Rusalka tries to drown him, but her desire to kill is driven purely by a biological impulse.

The psychology of Father Konstantin is more complicated than simple fear. His attitude towards Vasya is always internally contradictory to the point of self-deception. He is attracted to and frightened by Vasya’s daring and vividness. He vilifies Vasya for her feral energy and defiant manners, calling her a devil, a beast, a witch, but cannot help falling for her charms. He is deeply entrenched in patriarchal beliefs, expecting women to please and breed under male orders, and he, as a member of the male class, feels morally entitled to punish any non-conforming members of the female class. He conspires with Vasya’s stepmother in sending Vasya to a convent, despite knowing being locked up in the convent will kill everything in this girl that intrigues him. He pities Vasya for she must lead a life that men like him force her to lead, and calls that fate the women’s fate. What a hypocrite and a coward of him, hidden under a mask of piety.

A centering theme of the book lies in the three-stage prophecy repeatedly told to Vasya, and to the readers: first comes fear, next fire, next famine. Why is fear the start of a series of disasters? I think this passage reveals some clue.

“God, thought Vasya, when the service haltingly renewed. Here? Chyerti cannot come into churches; they are creatures of this world, and church is for the next.”

What does the notion of “God” represent here? As the passage above suggests, God represents the next world, the life after this life. Fear for God is fear for death. Why is fear for death the beginning of self-destruction? In my opinion, it is because this fear is man-made, its origin illusional. When someone starts to see natural ways as sinful and death as punishment for sinning, she or he holds up illusions over the nature’s law.

The magical creatures do not fear death. They have an innate understanding of mortality, which is developed from living a life in accordance to the natural rhythms of growth and decay. —— Everything dies. Despite all his knowledge in Christianity and icon-creation, the priest is ignorant in critical matters — he does not understand life. He tries to subvert the law of nature and replace it with the authority of a man-made God. The reverence to a man-made God, accompanied by the irreverence to nature’s order, fuel the fear among villagers, empower the bear, and bring on destruction. The bear can only be bound by two things: the frost God Morozko in midwinter, when his power is at the peak, or a brave parent who is willing to sacrifice his life for his children. Only nature’s relentless showing of her power, or human’s brave confrontation can stop the foolish behavior of self-destruction.

The story is a beautiful folklore. It swims through magic waters, breathes the quaint air of a long medieval Russian winter. But it is also relevant to contemporary awarenesses and challenges. I see this story as a warning letter to the men’s insolence engendered by their ignorance, a celebration over the triumph of nature, a love song to the magic and glamor of wilderness, and a philosophical contemplation over the meaning of life and mortality.

Ancient Specters Linger In a Contemporary Archive

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dreamhouseThe Book Review of
“In the Dream House“, by Carmen Maria Machado

In the process of recounting her experience in an abusive lesbian relationship, the author occasionally cites a folklore motif in the footnote, suggesting a particular episode of her story has overlap with a common folkloric paradigm. The book is an authentic account of the author’s real-life experience in a chronological flow, yet from time to time in the margin of the narration it strays into the mystical kingdoms of fairy tales.

The injection of folklore motifs makes the autobiographic story read transpersonal. Folklores are unrealistic, loaded with fantastical elements (fairies, witches, mystic beasts, et al.), yet also hyperrealistic: their allusions to social taboos and moral values are such truthful reflections of real life that they are often used as the first guide into adult society for the young and innocent. The repeated digressions to folkloric references add a surreal feeling to the retelling of a realistic past, and imply this personal story has myriad dimensions of universality.

Dworkin’s Defection From the Liberal Left

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A Book Review of
“Heartbreak: The Political Memoir of a Feminist Militant” by Andrea Dworkin

Learning about Dworkin’s early political life as an impassioned leftist really surprised me, for she had left an imprint on my mind with her poignant accusation of leftist men using and degrading women in a way no better than their conservative counterparts. In her other works, Dworkin called the whole sexual liberation movement, initiated and propelled by leftist men, another covert attack to violate and abuse female bodies and a blow to women’s autonomy and dignity, no less painful and humiliating than what was imposed by traditional values on right-wing women. The women on the left who had been coaxed into conforming to men’s version of liberation, only later had to swallow the bitter consequences of unwanted pregnancies, abortions and mental trauma, as well as their dismal situation of being used as mere sexual objects to serve and entertain.

Dworkin understands the chaotic nature of political activism. At college she was a student leader. She organized a student protest against the parietal hour rule. Under this rule female students were not allowed to have male visitors (lovers) between 2am and 6am, but it is to everyone’s knowledge that male faculty snuck in and out student dorms at any time, had sex with female students and impregnated several, who had to undergo illegal abortions. Dworkin believed that the parietal hour rule violated students’ personal freedom and was fundamentally unfair and hypocritical. At this time she was not as acutely aware of the sexual exploitation in the name of sexual freedom, which would come as a realization years later in her life.

Her plan of protest had a brief success: out of a whole student body of a few hundred students, only 6 refused. But soon the situation reversed. Some authority figure threatened to expel students if they stuck to the movement. Almost all the participating students, under the pressure of their parents, signed an oath to quit from the movement. Dworkin didn’t sign the oath and left the school. The experience revealed the complexities of mass politics to her. She learned how difficult it is for the powerless to maintain a political advantage over the powerful and how fragile a mass union is when being struck by draconian measures.

One can organize a large number of people to strike once, twice, but it’s hard to maintain the momentum in a longer period. The establishment has a tendency to degenerate into tyranny when feeling threatened, and most of the participating masses are weak-minded under prolonged pressure. When the battle of rebellion requests the individuals to endure more inconvenience, take higher risks and make more sacrifices, people refuse to go on. Yes, real power is with the people and they have the potential to overpower the despot when united, but the power of the masses is often released in the form of explosive passion. After a violent release, people return to their older norms and few have the determination to fight till winning. I think her observation resonates with many of the recent events. I find it hard to rephrase her words into a form of delivery as effective as the original so I just directly cite a paragraph down here.

In order to go back to school, students had to betray themselves and each other, and most did. I learned never to ignore the reality of power pure and simple. I also learned that one could get a bunch of people to do something brave or new or rebellious, but if it didn’t come from their deepest hearts they could not maintain the honor of their commitment. I learned that one does not overwhelm people by persuading them to do something basically antagonistic to their own sense of self; nor can rhetoric create in people a sustained determination to win.

I think Dworkin’s ability to dissect leftist hypocrisy with such precision and depth has a lot to do with the earnest belief she once held in liberal values. The once true believer, who has gone down the path of faith deep, sees the real deal behind propaganda. Underneath the beautiful covers of liberal ideals lies the same old cruelty of men, the same old subjugation of women. During years of fighting a political struggle with leftist men, Anti Vietnam War protests being one part of it, she witnessed first-hand the same men she initially admired as political visionaries and trusted as battle comrades who shared her belief in equality and freedom, reveal themselves as wife-batters, pedophiles and sexual offenders. She had wholeheartedly dedicated her young adult life to the liberation of all men, only to realize later that the liberation of all men didn’t include women. The realization of the ugly sides of left politics transformed her from a zealous disciple into a disillusioned defector, and luckily for the feminist movement, her militancy only increased.

Radical feminists across the world look up to Dworkin, inspired by her unflinching spirit to fight. Dworkin gives a voice to the invisible, the mute, the downtrodden. Her feminist analysis is cold to the heart, realistic to the essence. She understands not only the weaknesses and illusions of traditional women, but also the naive fantasies harbored by the liberal ones. She gained knowledge, experience and wisdom from a shattered dream. Then she stopped pleading for men’s chivalry and sympathy. She knows that women cannot rely on men to fight for women’s rights. She knows that women have to speak the truth for themselves and fight for a revolution by themselves.